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… And I'll Cry if I Want To (One Hour Version Christmas Special)

Ben becomes depressed as a result of the holiday season as Susan tries to throw Kenzo a birthday party.

Transmitted on: Sunday 25th December 2005

Episode Summary

Ben is in scrooge mood. When he arrives home he finds Susan interviewing clowns for Kenzos birthday party on Christmas Eve. Susan is determined he will have a big party because she forgot Janey’s third birthday and feels guilty. Much to Ben’s horror Susan’s mother is staying for Christmas.
Ben goes on a present hunt and finds a £1,200 ring which Susan has obviously bought for him. Michael has a job as a Christmas postman, and Ben goes to him for advice as he has only bought her an ironing cover so far. Grace has a toyboy and has asked him to Christmas lunch. Grace also has a drink problem. Susan asks Janey to bring Kenzos father to the party.

Abi has a job in the make up department for a couple of weeks in the local department store. A friend of Nick’s, Alfie Butts arrives unexpectedly, because Nick has rented him his room! Susan is delighted and asks him to stay for Christmas. Ben is reduced to asking Grace what to get Susan for Christmas, she suggests a divorce.

Susan lets it drop that what she really wants is a video camera so she can record Kenzo’s party. Ben decides he can save money on Shingles the clown for the party, by using Roger instead. Ben doesn’t think Susan will notice.

At the department store Abi gives Robert a facial in exchange for her staff discount card. Ben arrives home with a burnt face having bought the video camera, only to discover Grace has also bought one for Susan. Ben now turns to Alfie for advice for Susan’s present. Alfie suggests a first edition. Mrs Dalloway.

The day of the party arrives and Shingles hasn’t. Ben returns with the first edition. Roger is ready to go on, with Abi as his assistant, but Roger gets stage fright and takes to the bottle. To add to Susan’s confusion, Kenzo’s father arrives, swiftly followed by another father for Kenzo and then another! Susan is now desperate for the clown to arrive, while Ben and Abi try and persuade Roger to go on.

Meanwhile he sends Alfie in to sing to the children with his guitar. Michael performs D and A tests on the three fathers, to find out who is the real father.
Roger is now very drunk in the kitchen and Susan comes in to see what the commotion is all about and Ben tells her that Shingles had to rush off. Roger passes out and Abi refuses to go on too.

Susan gives Ben two minutes to produce a clown. In desperation, Ben comes out to entertain the kids as Shingles with Susan as his assistant. The children are not impressed, and then terrified when Roger falls through the door in his underwear.

Michael’s DNA results are inconclusive.

Present time arrives, Abi has bought Alfie a donkey instead of giving him the doorkey, the ring Ben found turns out to be for Grace’s toy-boy and Susan happily got her first edition and Ben got socks. And there we leave them in a powercut!


Character Played by
Ben Harper Robert Lindsay
Susan Harper Zoe Wanamaker
Janey Harper Daniela Denby-Ashe
Michael Harper Gabriel Thompson
Roger Bailey Keiron Self
Abi Harper Siobhan Hayes
Alfie Butts Rhodri Meilir
Kenzo Harper Tayler Marshall
Toy Boy John Burgess
Mark & Uncle Morris Neil Henry
Andrew Jim Johnson
Customer Rosalin Dadler
Josh Dan Clark
Pooh Boy Taylor Marshall


Role Name
Director Dewi Humphreys
Producer John Bartlett
Writer Paul Minett
Writer Brian Leveson
Executive Producer Don Taffner
Executive Producer Tom Leopold

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