Ben and Susan are in bed together. Just as they start to canoodle, we reveal they are actually in a bed department store.
Susan is knitting for the baby, badly. Ben has arrived late and wants dinner, Siberian Take-away. Susan goes to call Janey for her nightly chat, hears Janey make an ‘ow’ and assumes she is in labour. Susan says they have to go immediately. We see them travelling in the car, Susan is driving like a lunatic much to Ben’s horror. They cannot get through to Janey. Ben suggests Susan drop him off, he is not needed, he says he will be a spare part. We go into flashback and see Susan in hospital for all three births. Ben remembers he was a tower of strength and Susan remembers he was useless. We see Susan pregnant in flashback in the mood to dance, and then we see Ben’s flashback, where he had bought himself a ‘Saturday night fever’ suit, and he wants to go disco. Susan, heavily pregnant, wants to stay in and read.
We see Ben and Susan at the disco and Susan goes into labour, Ben thinks she is doing dance moves and noises. Susan is in labour as they travel to the hospital, Ben is still hungry, he reaches for the tictacs and gets his medallion stuck in his chest hair. He tries to put on some relaxation music which is completely unsuitable and Susan throws it out of the window.
Back in present day, Ben and Susan are still travelling and still can’t reach Janey. Ben thinks they should turn back, then he sees a Little Chef and wants to stop and eat. Susan insists they must hurry, We go back to a flashback of Ben telling Susan to push, we assume he means the baby, but we see Susan pushing the car, as they ran out of petrol. In present day, Ben and Susan run out of petrol, we go to flashback and see Susan arrive at the labour ward, and she gets cold feet.
She thinks she may not be pregnant after all, maybe it’s just a very large meal. Ben calms her down and she makes him promise they will only ever have one baby. They discuss their future, and Susan agrees to carry on and have the baby. We next see Susan outside the car filling up with petrol, Ben finally has a sandwich, but as he broke the sandwich machine, he can’t eat the sandwich in case it is full of glass. They still can’t get hold of Janey. Back in flashback, the contractions have stopped. They discuss the babies future, Ben goes off in search of food.
In the present day on the journey,Susan finally reaches Janey, tells her they are on the way and Janey hangs up. Ben meets a father of three times over at the food machine, and he tries to persuade Ben to run away. Susan has Ben paged, he runs back in thinking the baby is coming and all Susan wanted was to chose a name. Every name reminds Ben of something, time passes and they still can’t decide. Susan suggests that the first person through the door will be the name of the baby. The obstetricians tells them his nick name and they name the baby Nick.
Ben goes out to find food and discovers a trolley with a dead man’s meal on it. The nurse says she doesn’t know wether Mr Clarke had died before or after the meal was touched, Susan has Ben paged again, and as he leaves the nurse tucks in. Susan is in labour, and has thrown her bean bag out of the window. We see Nick as a baby asking Ben for a Fiver.
Ben and Susan arrive to help Janey and Susan feels too young to be a grandmother. Janey has had the baby, a boy. Janey is not with the baby she is doing her nails. Ben and Susan meet the baby, and then they are in the launderette, washing their clothes as the baby widdled on them both, they try and chose a name for themselves as grandparents
|Ben Harper||Robert Lindsay|
|Susan Harper||Zoe Wanamaker|
|Nick Harper||Kris Marshall|
|Bum Face||Roger Blake|
|1970's Nurse||Jo Martin|
|1970's Midwife||Georgia Fitch|
|Nursery Nurse||Angela Ridgeon|
|Sales Assistant||David Armand|