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Desperately Squeeking Susan

Susan invites over the accident prone Abi because she misses Janey.

Transmitted on: Friday 20th September 2002


Episode Summary

Nick has gone off with Ben’s credit card to buy cheese.
Nick is a magician.Susan is missing Janey and has invited Abi Ben’s niece to dinner. Nick has dyed Ben’s white suit to purple.Abi arrives and smashes the window.At the hospital, Ben finds out that Susan has been giving money to Abi.Nick wants to saw Susan in half. Susan is worried about Abi, and they drive over to see her.We see Susan creep through the bushes, and Abi thinks she is a stalker. Ben gets knocked on the head by a cricket bat. Another visit to the hospital. Susan invites Abi to stay in Janeys room when she is asked to leave her flat.

Ben receives a text from Nick, he has gone off to France with Ben’s credit card to buy cheese. Ben is rummaging in a drawer, he pulls out a corner of a brightly coloured cloth, he pulls and hundreds of flags of all nations shoot all over the kitchen.

Nick has become a magician, Brian Miles. Susan is playing her cello, in Janeys bare bedroom. She is missing her now she is at university and wants some female company.Ben decides he should soundproof the room. Susan has invited Ben’s niece Abi, to dinner.Nick and Michael are doing card tricks.and Susan asks Michael for an opinion on her clothes!Nick continues to do bad tricks. Ben and Susan await Abi’s arrival. Ben couldn’t wear his white suit, he has lost it. Nick enters in a purple suit which used to be white, that he had donated to Oxfam the week before, he bought it back for 90p and died it! Abi is late, Ben thinks they should go out for dinner. The front door bell goes.The first thing we see at the door is Abi’s fist smashing thru the glass. Ben is covered in Abi’s blood, Nick appears to help and hands his magic hankies over. Ben, Susan and Abi go to casualty. They discuss Abi’s horrendous family, and Abi is upset she has ruined their evening. Ben discovers that Susan has been giving Abi large amounts of money.Nick would like to use Susan for a‘sawing a woman in half’ trick. Later that night, Susan is worried about Abi and persuades Ben to drive her over.

Ben doesn’t want to get out of the car, so Susan goes Meanwhile, Abi thinks she has seen a stalker and calls Ben on his mobile, there is confusion, Ben rushes to stop Abi attacking Susan and is hit on the head with a bat.Back at the hospital we see both Ben and Abi injured. Nick is now in fully fledged magicians outfit. Susan wants to wash Michaels’ shirt he has been wearing for three days, Nick pulls the collar and off it comes, from under Michael’s jumper.

Ben thinks Abi is dangerous, and a walking catastrophe. Susan sees her as damaged. We hear the doorbell and it is Abi. She has been thrown out. Ben tries not to let her in. It becomes obvious to him that Susan has invited Abi over. Nick is delighted because he will have someone to do tricks on, and Michael is pleased as Abi will become a buffer between him and his Mum. Abi returns with her suitcase and puts her foot through Susan’s cello.
We see Nick by a huge box, Susan is looking for Michael. Nick says he hasn’t seen him, Susan leaves and we see Nick stab the box with a long skewer. We hear Michael’s ‘ow’ from in the box.


Character Played by
Ben Harper Robert Lindsay
Susan Harper Zoe Wanamaker
Nick Harper Kris Marshall
Janey Harper Daniela Denby-Ashe
Abi Harper Siobhan Hayes


Role Name
Director Dewi Humphreys
Producer John Bartlett
Writer James Hendrie
Writer Ian Brown
Executive Producer Fred Barron
Executive Producer Don Taffner

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