First Past The Post
Ben and Susan are in bed. Susan produces a baby monitor Susan explains that it is the latest model and can pick up sounds from Janey’s flat. Janey’s voice comes over the monitor talking to baby Kenzo, but we hear a man’s voice answer her!
Ben is with a patient called Mr Collins when Roger walks in. Roger has won The Times crossword and the prize is a £20 gift voucher and his name printed in the paper. Roger completed the crossword in 20 mins although he usually does it in 10. He suggests that maybe Ben can’t complete crosswords.
Ben is in the kitchen preoccupied with completing a crossword when Susan comes home. Susan complains that the local streets are a disgrace with all the litter, dog mess and graffiti. Susan tells Michael and Ben that she is going to stand for local councillor, Ben hopes she is joking!
Ben visits Michael in his bedroom to ask for his help with the crossword. He sees that Michael has bought a pet, Nicola, he assumes it’s a kitten until he pulls it out of the box and realises it’s a tarantula.
Susan is in the kitchen completing her councillor candidate form when Ben enters still doing the crossword. She tells Ben she wants his signature for her form, he insists on checking the form before he signs. Michael is looking for something, Ben and Susan ask him what he is doing. Nicola, his tarantula has gone missing and he explains that her sting could cause some swelling and occasionally be fatal.
Ben and Susan are checking their bed for evidence of Nicola before getting in. Ben picks up his crossword and Susan her councilor plans. Susan is canvassing on the doorstep of a yuppie couple. Ben has been ordered to canvass for her too, so he barely knocks on the door of a woman who insists on voting for Susan and helping in anyway she can even against Ben’s suggestion. He asks her for help with his crossword.
Susan calls at Janey’s flat to ask for her vote. Janey insists that Susan explain her manifesto and will only vote if Susan does her cleaning. Ben and Susan are in bed, he’s reading his book which has his crossword hidden in. Michael enters looking around the room. He’s still not found Nicola and is worried about her ‘especially in her condition’. She’s pregnant and could be about to produce hundreds of babies. Ben thinks that Nicola may be in the bed and goes to investigate.
Susan’s holding a kitchen cabinet, a campaign meeting with Michael, Abi and Roger. Ben has defaced Susan’s campaign folder. They discuss slogans. Ben enters and mocks the situation.
Ben is pacing around the living room trying to complete his crossword, one question left to answer and then he can catch the post. Susan rings him and asks why he isn’t campaigning with her and she suggests he would be safer out of the house than in it with the tarantula. Ben is on the coffee table with a baseball bat calling for Nicola, the room is in disarray. He sees her and starts lashing out with the baseball bat when Michael appears and asks him what he is doing. Ben breaks the sad news about Nicola’s untimely death. Michael tells him he took Nicola back to the pet shop last week. Ben had mistaken a black glove for Nicola. Ben is about to throttle Michael but he saves himself by giving Ben the last clue for the crossword.
Susan, Michael and Abi are waiting for the election results at the local town hall when Ben arrives late. He promises he has not forgotten to vote. Susan’s opposition, George Edward Glover wins, Susan has only received 2 votes. Michael points out that the votes don’t add up if Susan, Abi and Ben all voted. Ben tries to cover his tracks.
Abi and Susan are in the kitchen, Abi is still trying to come up with slogans. Ben enters with The Times, trying to see if Harper has won. Yes, Harper has won, but it is Abi’s name is in the newspaper instead. Roger entered under her name. Roger leaves as he has to vote for Susan before the polls close!
Ben and Susan are in bed when a sound comes over the baby monitor. They think it is squeaking bed springs and turn it off immediately. We reveal it is in fact Janey with Baby Kenzo in his baby bouncer.
|Ben Harper||Robert Lindsay|
|Susan Harper||Zoe Wanamaker|
|Janey Harper||Daniela Denby-Ashe|
|Michael Harper||Gabriel Thompson|
|Roger Bailey||Keiron Self|
|Abi Harper||Siobhan Hayes|
|Mr. Collins,Patient||Giles New|
|Mrs. Cooke, Neighbour||Judith Jacob|
|George Edward Glover||Edward Lyon|
|Returning Officer||Sody Singh|
|Baby Kenzo||Thomas & Noah Davis|
|Deep Male Voice||Ralf Ineson|