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Tis A Pity She's A Whore

Janey learns a family secret when she visits her grandmother.

Transmitted on: Friday 2nd November 2001

Episode Summary

Ben and Susan are in bed when the phone rings at 5 a.m in the morning. It is Susan's mother inviting them to her funeral. Susan refuses to visit just because she says she is dying.

Susan is making a shopping list to replace everything Nick has eaten. Janey is in a mood as someone has used all her shampoo. Michael is the culprit. Susan says she can buy six bottles as long as Janey goes to visit her grandmother. Michael is standing for elecetion at school, as a Tory.

Janey goes to visit her gran, who wants her to tell Susan she was coughing up blood so she will feel guilty and visit. Janey discovers Michael has marked all the items he wants when his granny dies. Janey starts to do the same, when her grandmother explains that Janey's great grandmother ran a brothel in the West End. She was a prostitute. The boys come home to find Ben and Susan in a clinch on the kitchen counter. Much to their disgust. Michael has made his speech and Ben is still horrified that Michael is a Tory. Janey comes home and tells the family Great Grandma was a hooker. Janey wants to tell her friends, and Michael thinks it will ruin his political career if it gets out.

Ben is upset because his side of the family is boring. 'Mediocrity or death'. He retaliates with 'for a good time call' Ben looks through his photos for something about his family. He reminisces about the haberdashery shop which they owned for 4 generations in Derby. He explains all about tie knots to Nick. Ben then bores a patient and his new assistant, about his past. Ben realises he is boring after all.

Susan finally visits her mother. Susan accuses her mother of just telling Janey about Grandma without consulting her so that she would visit. Michael practises for his debate with Janey and Nicks help. Ben returns and says he is dull and forgettable. Michael calls him a little man. Ben is downhearted. He decides he needs to make a statement. Michael suggests a bench. Ben is looking for a site for his bench.

Michael comes home from school very upset as they knew about there being a prostitute in the family, as Janey had told them, and that he was adopted.

Nick visits his grandmother much to her horror and breaks a plate. Ben visits his bench at night to take a photo of it and finds a tramp sitting on it. Two hookers then arrive and as he is offering to pay them to move a young pc arrives and arrests Ben. The next day Bens picture is in the paper, Ben is terribly upset. Susan reassures him that no one will know its him, when Susan's mother calls and asks if it is Ben.

Cast

Character Played by
Ben Harper Robert Lindsay
Susan Harper Zoe Wanamaker
Nick Harper Kris Marshall
Janey Harper Daniela Denby-Ashe
Michael Harper Gabriel Thompson
Rebecca Avril Egar
Dental Assistant Johanna Scanlan
Hookers Charlotte Palmer
Derelict Timothy Bateson
Policeman Steven O'Neil
Mr. Winslow Mark Drewery

Team

Role Name
Director Dewi Humphreys
Producer John Bartlett
Writer Steve Armogida
Writer Jim Armogida
Executive Producer Fred Barron
Executive Producer Don Taffner

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